Now normally I cringe when a blogger pens a letter to somebody who will never read it but I don't know I guess I'm willing to give it a shot. You don't me, I'm just an unknown blogger with a little website that does generate a few hits but only because you have a loyal fan base. And right now they are frustrated. You are probably wondering why. (Although you most likely yawned and rolled your eyes.)
I'll tell you why, because of your newfound infatuation with old catchers who are on the decline offensively and defensively. Now I know you may think those guys can contribute (they can't) and that they have a little left in the tank (they don't) but it's time to let it go because I have solved your problem. Sign me to be your catcher. Yes you heard right and I'm dead serious. I think I'm qualified (given what you're looking at I may be overqualified) and I'll give you three darn good reasons to consider it.
- I'm 38 years old. Now if that doesn't impress you I should add that most days I feel 48. Years of climbing tanks and dumping 50 pound bags of salt have wreaked havoc on my knees and shoulders. I can't crouch or throw but I doubt that will be a problem. I sense your right eyebrow has raised slightly, you're intrigued.
- I'm pretty sure I couldn't hit a Japanese little leaguer so there is no way I'm gonna approach a .300 OBP (thats on base percentage in case you're still confused by those three letters). I know you like your catchers to make a lot of outs - I can do that, I'm telling you I'm your man.
- I can't throw anybody out and I'm reasonably certain I can't even get the ball to second base. There may be a few passed balls but anything I don't get my glove on is a wild pitch so those aren't my fault. As long as your pitchers hit my glove I'll do fine (maybe).
Lets get this done today.
Yours til Niagra falls,
P.s. Or you could go in a different direction and keep John Buck!